Story: Toxic Celebutante Mini

Copyright (C) 2011 by Kevin L. O'Brien

The Adventure of the Toxic Celebutante

Eile and Sunny ran as fast as they could push their way through the dense jungle foliage. Behind them, Eile could hear the cries and screams of dozens of pygmy creatures in pursuit.

Panting, Eile asked, "Tell me again: why are we running from these guys?!"

"Because they've got poison blowguns!" Sunny replied.

"Oh, yeah," Eile conceded. She ducked as a dart flew past her ear and another ricocheted off a shoulder guard.

They burst out of the trees into a clearing, picking up speed over the open ground. They sped through a group of ruins, then headed for the opposite end, but skidded to a halt as pygmies poured out the jungle ahead of them. They pivoted and raced off in a different direction, only to be cut off by another group. They changed direction twice more, but each time were intercepted by a horde of shrieking, gibbering creatures.

"Cripes, we're surrounded!" Eile cried, searching for a way out.

"This way!" Sunny yelled, and she sprinted for the ruins. Eile wasn't sure that was a good idea, but there was no other choice.

Unfortunately, the rubble offered no hiding places, and the area was too open to obscure their movements. The pygmies converged on the ruins and corralled them in, finally trapping them with their backs against a large well.

Eile surveyed the tightening ring of diminutive creatures clustered around them. This was the first time she had gotten a good look at them. They looked like groundhogs, but with longer limbs, bigger eyes, and a ridge of porcupine spikes running down their spines. They stood and walked upright, and each held some kind of weapon in its hands, either a blowgun or a short-hafted spear with a large stone blade. Though naked except for their fur, they wore decorative collars, arm- and wristbands, earrings, and belts, all made of leather and beads or bits of bone or shells. Their fur was muddy brown, but it had a green tinge to it.

She drew her sword from its scabbard and held it ready as Sunny took up a fighting stance, holding a quarterstaff in both hands. She watched as those with blowguns loaded them with darts, but none tried to take a shot.

"Why aren't they attacking?"

"You know," Sunny said, "we haven't actually tried confronting them. Maybe they're intimidated by us."

Eile shot her a bewildered look. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

Eile shook her head. "I think there's a slim chance of that."

"Maybe, but what have we got to lose?"

Just our lives, she thought, but Sunny's right. "Okay, I'll give it a try." She took a deep breath, then raised her sword and waved it around above her head.

"Aaaaarrrrr!" she roared as she dashed towards those in front of her.

The pygmy creatures answered her with screams of their own, but they wore looks of abject terror. Some threw down their weapons; all broke and ran for the cover of the piles of rubble.

Stupefied, Eile came to a stop and looked around. None of their pursuers were left in the open, though she saw some of them peeping through, around, and out from behind the debris.

"Well, I be damned, it worked!" she said in a surprised but happy tone.

"Umm, Eile?" Sunny said behind her.

"What?" Eile asked as she turned her head. When she saw it, she whirled about in shock. "Holy Jesus God!"

Sunny was standing rigid, staring at the well, or rather the air above it. A column of blue-white mist had risen out of the shaft and coalesced above the opening. It took on a form that constantly shifted size and shape, but the overall effect was that of a woman with long flowing hair and a blank face. Some streamers looked like multiple wings; others like a flowing gown. It reminded Eile of pictures by surrealist artists depicting seraphim.

"Why have you disturbed my children?" The voice was feminine, soft and gentle, but it rang in her mind rather than her ears.

"Your children?!" Eile asked.

"I have adopted them as such. I care for them, protect them, and guide them."

"Like a god?" Sunny asked, in awe.

"You can think of it that way. Now, why have you disturbed my children?"

"We didn't do anything to them!" Eile shouted, losing her temper. "They attacked us without provocation!"

"Umm, Ma'am?" Sunny interjected. "We're just trying to get home. We took what we were told was a shortcut, and I guess we intruded into their territory. It was an accident, and we're sorry. We promise we won't do it again."

"It sounds like an honest mistake. I can forgive you, but my children are as yet too primitive to understand the altruism of forgiveness. You broke a taboo, and that requires retribution, otherwise their tribal spirits will be angry and punish them. Or so they believe."

"Couldn't you talk to them?" Sunny asked.

"I can try, but the best I can do is suggest. My word carries great weight, but I do not have the final say. And even if I manage to persuade them, they will require some form of penance. However, I will see what I can do."

The entity lifted its "head" and emitted a high-pitched ululation that rose and fell for several minutes. When it fell silent, it looked down at the girls. "I have summoned the lead shaman and the chief. They will be here shortly. In the meantime, tell me who you are."

"Oh, sorry! I should have introduced us already. We're Team Girl. I'm White-Lion, and this is my partner, Braveheart. We're from Ulthar in the Six Kingdoms."

There was a pause, and then the entity stated, "You are The Twins."

Eile felt rage boil up inside her, but she bit her tongue to stifle her blazing retort. She was getting heartily sick of hearing that canard come up over and over again.

Sunny giggled. "Yeah, that's what they call us!"

Any further exchange was cut off when the assembled pygmies began whistling and gibbering in an excited manner. When Eile turned, she saw two creatures approaching. One stood tall and straight. It was laden with ornaments of bead, bone, shell, feathers, and bits of precious metal. Its back quills were polished to a high sheen that made them flash in the sun. It carried a sword, the first metal-bladed weapon she had seen all day, though she realized in human hands it would be just a big knife. The other wore the first real clothing she had seen on any of them, a cloak made of fur and feathers. Its head was crowned with an animal skull and it carried a scepter intricately carved from wood and inlaid with ivory and precious stones.

The pair came to within six feet of the well and stopped. "You must move aside," the entity told the girls, "they will not come near as long as you are there."

Sunny took Eile by the elbow. "Come on, let's go over here." She led her a quarter of the way around the circumference, and the pygmy leaders stepped up before the entity. They began conversing in a language of squeaks, clicks, whistles, chucks, and squawks, with the occasional growl and snarl. This time, Eile heard the entity's "words" through the air rather than in her mind. The conference took the better part of an hour, but finally the conversation ended. The pygmy leaders turned to face the girls. The entity didn't move; its "head" simple flowed to a new position.

"My children have agreed to let you expiate the violated taboo through penance rather than death."

Eile bit off a sarcastic reply as Sunny said, "Thank you."

"What do they want us ta do?" Eile asked.

"They have selected a representative to explain. However, I must make it possible for you to understand him."

"Wha–" Eile began, when a blast of brilliant blue-white light leapt from the entity's face and engulfed her vision. She stood paralyzed, unable to move or speak, blinded by the glare, but she felt no pain. Then, as sudden as it started, it shut off.

"–t? Sweet Jesus!" Her head rang like she has been hit. Looking at Sunny, she saw that she had a dazed expression as she blinked her eyes.

"That is all I can do for you," the entity said, as it flowed back down into the well, "the rest is in your hands. Good luck, Team Girl." And with that it was gone.

The ringing faded, and Eile soon regained her full senses. She looked around and saw that the pygmies were leaving, heading back into the jungle.

That is, all except one; it headed towards them with a purposeful stride. Eile noted it was different from all the others. For one thing, it had no decorations, except a very plain belt. For another, its pelt was dull and ragged, and some of its quills were broken or missing. It was also scarred about the face, chest, and arms. Finally, it carried a sickle that was almost too big for it. However, the blade was sharp and bright, as if lovingly cared for.

It came to within three feet of them before it stopped. It then spoke to them in a high pitched voice, only now its words sounded like English.

"I am Liaison."

Eile glanced at Sunny, who looked at her at the same time. "Is that your name or a title?" Sunny asked.

He shrugged (knowing its name, Eile couldn't think of him as an 'it' anymore). "It is what I am called; there is no distinction. Though outcast from my tribe, I act as a go-between for them and our neighbors. This permits me to be of service, even if they barely acknowledge my existence."

"Oh, my! We're sorry," Sunny squeaked.

Liaison blinked and gave her what Eile thought was a puzzled stare. "Why should you apologize? My disgrace was not your fault. If it was, I would kill you for it."

Sheesh! Eile thought, there guys are pretty hardcore! "Umm, no, she was commiserating."

"I do not understand that word."

"She was expressing sympathy for your situation. It made her sad, and she wanted you to know that she felt bad for you."

Liaison blinked again. "You are not my mates, my family, or my friends. Why should you feel sympathy for me?"

Cripes, how do we reply ta that? Eile wondered.

Fortunately, Sunny had an answer. "It's natural for our people to feel empathy for the plight of another fellow creature. It makes it easier for us to cooperate with others in a peaceful way."

Liaison blinked a third time, and Eile figured he just wasn't getting it.

But then he shrugged. "This does not matter. I have been instructed to inform you that my tribe is being assailed by a mysterious sickness, one that has never occurred before, one that the shamans cannot cure. We need you to stop it. Do that, and the taboo will be forgiven."

Eile glanced at Sunny, who appeared as surprised and concerned as she felt. "But we're not doctors."

"Dock-tores?"

"Physicians; healers."

Liaison flexed his quills, seemingly in irritation. "We do not need you to cure us; we need you to find the source of the sickness and eliminate it. You should know: if you refuse, if you fail, or if you try to run away, I have been instructed to cut your throats."

Eile gulped. Hard-core was right! "Well then, I guess we don't really have a choice." She glanced at Sunny, who nodded to her.

Looking back at Liaison, she added, "Alright, we'll do what we can."

"Come with me," he said, and he turned and headed out of the ruins.

Liason led them into the jungle, and after about an hour they came to a turbulent river. He then turned upstream and they made their way along the bank. As they went, he explained the situation.

"For a number of months now my tribe has been afflicted with stomach pains, vomiting, diarrhea with blood, and excessive wound bleeding which is difficult to staunch. Many of us have convulsions and irregular heartbeats. The death rate among our very young and old, and the sickly has increased, our females have had more miscarriages, and our babies are born underweight, or deformed."

Eile felt sick to her stomach. Those people were suffering pretty badly.

"It sounds like some kinda metal poisoning," Sunny mused. "Have your people noticed any changes in the populations or kinds of animals living in the stream?"

Liaison nodded. "There has been a decline in frogs, salamanders, turtles, and certain types of fish and crustaceans."

"It probably killed off the insects, worms, and such they fed on. That may have caused their numbers to crash, assuming it didn't kill them too."

"That is what led our shamans to trace the sickness to the Milk Stream, and the Goddess of the Well instructed us to drink from springs for the time being, but they are inadequate for our needs. We must cleanse the Milk Stream soon, or we will all perish."

"What's this 'milk stream'?" Eile asked.

Liaison pointed to the river. "It flows out of the Hills of Life."

"What are those?" Sunny asked.

"The earth is our Mother, we sprang from Her when She gave birth to our Forefather and Foremother. The hills are Her breasts and the stream is the milk that flows from them and nourishes all life. We can drink from other sources, but they cannot sustain us as the milk does, and if we do so for longer than a few months we eventually wither and die." His quills collapsed against his back and it seemed to Eile that his whole body drooped, as if he had suddenly become despondent.

"It makes no sense," he wailed in low voice.

"Whaddya mean?" Sunny asked, concerned.

"The Mother sometimes gets angry with us. But usually Her punishment is a storm, or a flood, or a wild fire. To poison us with Her own milk . . ." His voice trailed off, as if it was too disturbing to think about.

"Maybe it's not her fault," Sunny said.

Liaison stopped abruptly, turned, and eyed her with a look that mixed suspicion and hope. "How do you mean?"

"When your women nurse, do you restrict them from eating certain foods, to keep their milk from being contaminated?"

Liaison gave her a surprised look. "Yes, we do. Are you suggesting the Mother has consumed something noxious?"

"In a manner of speaking. Maybe the stream's been exposed to some kind of toxic mineral and it's gotten into the water. Since your people drink from it almost exclusively, it's had a chance to build up in their bodies, making them sick."

That seemed to catch him unawares. He thought before he responded, rubbing his chin. Eile wondered if it was meant to be a magical gesture.

"Yes," he said in a more excited tone as his whole manner perked up, "perhaps you are right. It seems logical."

"If she is," Eile added, "the source of the contamination would be in the hills. If we can find it, we should be able ta shut off somehow."

"Then let us waste no more time!" he cried, and he took off at a faster pace, his quills arching erect. Eile and Sunny had to sprint to catch up.

The jungle wasn't as thick along the river and they had a fairly easy time, except for clambering over or detouring around the occasional jumble of boulders, and twice they had to scale steep slopes that turned the river into a cascade. As such, they reached the foot of the hills by nightfall, when Liaison decided to spend the night there and push on in the morning. As Eile set up camp, he and Sunny went hunting, and they brought back a small bush pig Sunny had brought down with her composite bow. Liaison proved to be as good a cook as Sunny, and together they whipped up a passable kalua pig with side dishes of crawdads, forest snails, and a poi made from starchy tubers and coarse fruits.

As they ate, Eile decided to ask something that had been gnawing at her all day. "If yer people knew, or at least suspected, where the source of the sickness was, why didn't they go themselves?"

"The Hills of Life are sacred to the Mother. To enter them without permission and proper purification would be a very serious offense. It would be as if we violated our own birth-mothers."

"Theeeeen, why's it okay for us to enter?" Sunny asked.

"I am outcast, and you are Outsiders; we are already shamed and defiled. This further violation will count for little when the Mother finally judges us after our deaths."

"In other words, we're expendable," Eile concluded.

Liaison gave her a look as if deciding she wasn't as dense as he first thought she was. "You could say that."

She and Sunny exchanged looks, and from her expression Eile understood she was just as disturbed as she felt herself.

In the morning, Liaison made them a breakfast of roasted grubs and turtles, with more tubers and sweet fruit. Eile wasn't too keen on eating grubs, but after their heads, viscera, and legs were removed they didn't appear too unappetizing, and they came out of the coals looking like grilled brats, their pasty flesh having toughened into the consistency of sausage meat, with an unusual nutty, shellfish flavor that she found quite tasty. She figured she could learn to like stuff like that.

They broke camp and extinguished the fire, but before they left, Sunny collected some water from the river. She poured it into one hand, then laid the other on top and rubbed her palms together with her eyes closed while mumbling under her breath.

"What is she doing?" whispered Liaison.

"She's working magic," Eile replied, also in a quiet voice. "She's imagining what the spell'll do and what it'll tell her. It's sorta like drawing in power."

Liaison nodded. Eile figured he would understand it that way, and he did seem to have an awed expression on his face.

Nothing spectacular happened; there was no glow, or sparks, or smoke, or anything else that indicated the spell was working. Yet Eile knew that inside her partner's head, the Dream-magic was telling her everything that was in the water. She just had to wait out the mumbo-jumbo.

Presently she opened her eyes, but she had a rather grim look on her face. "We've gotta a serious problem, boy and girl. There's enough arsenic in the water to kill a whole village."

"Geezus!" Eile muttered. Arsenic was highly toxic, any good murder mystery could tell you that.

Sunny nodded as she hitched her pack up her shoulders. "Like Liaison said, we can't waste any time. Let's get going."

They followed the river up into the hills, sticking to the shore as much as possible. The going was harder because of the rugged terrain, and they often had to detour around impassable falls or slog through the water itself. Eile figured it took longer to go the same distance as the day before, and the travel was exhausting, but by mid-afternoon they reached the opening of long, narrow ravine with steep walls.

Except it was closed off by a wooden stockade wall with a towered gate. As they watched from the cover of some bushes, a train of workers carrying large baskets filled with rocks on their backs wound its way through the gate.

Sunny shot Eile a wide, pop-eyed astonished look, and she nodded. It was a mining operation.

Signaling silence, Liaison gestured for them to leave their packs hidden and he led them up the slope above the ravine to a spot where they could look down into it. It was V-shaped, with the narrow end a steep cliff with a waterfall running down its face. The water was diverted from the river bed by a levee to accumulate behind a dam. Water running out the spillway turned a wheel, which was attached to a long wooden building. From inside, Eile could hear what sounded like dropping hammers. The water ran along the length of the building to a collecting pool that sat just below that end before flowing through a ditch back into the river bed. The rest of the ravine held tents of various sizes, along with a smithy, a refectory with a kitchen and bakery, and an infirmary. Various people, all men, milled around, some of whom were armed, but none looked like slaves.

As she watched, a large door above the collecting pool opened, and workers dumped sludge from wheeled vats into the pool.

"Son of a —!" Sunny gasped, which was as strong as her language ever got. "That must be the source of the arsenic!"

"Yeah." From where he lay between them, Liaison crawled back into the brush and Eile heard him move further up the ravine.

"We've gotta close 'em down!"

Eile nodded. "We can destroy the building, but what about that pool? All that sludge'll leak arsenic for years."

"Not if we destroy that levee and dam as well. The water will return to its natural course. Then, we can block off the ditch and fill in the pool. That'll seal it up for good."

Eile nodded again. That could work —

"Grab 'em!"

From behind her, Eile felt someone seize her by the arms and haul her to her feet.

"Let go o' me, you asshole!" she roared as she fought and kicked, but then someone else stuck a sword in her face. Eile calmed down and found that she and Sunny were each being held by a tough while a third, probably the leader, sized them up. At first she feared they were as good as dead, but the swordsman lowered his weapon.

"You're coming with us," he growled. "Give us any trouble, and we'll beat ya bloody, got it?"

"Yeah," she said as Sunny nodded. Satisfied, he grunted and gestured to his companions. They were hauled back down to the stockade and through the gate, pausing just long enough to be relieved of their weapons. Then they were dragged to the nearest, most ornate tent. The toughs pushed them inside, but didn't follow. She and Sunny looked behind themselves as the flap closed.

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

Eile's spine tingled and her skin goose-pimpled as she recognized the voice. She whipped around and caught a glimpse of Sunny's face; she looked as shocked as she felt.

A woman stood behind a table covered with ledgers and loose papers. She had long, full-bodied, champagne-brown hair that flowed over her shoulders and framed a round, pretty face with soft, youthful features, gold-amber eyes, and dark-tan skin. She wore a short, long-sleeved, midnight-blue jacket with padded shoulders, and a matching short skirt that went two-thirds of the way down her thighs, but no shirt, thereby revealing the swell of her small breasts. Her body and figure were fit and slim with shapely legs, but she was barely taller than either of them.

"Oh, my word!" Sunny breathed.

"Marseilles Sheraton," Eile said in a rough voice. This wasn't good. She was the celebutante heiress of the Sheraton hotel fortune, infamous in the Waking World for her partying private life and sexual escapades. She was also a criminal mastermind who was into everything illegal from assassination to white slavery, especially pornography; her specialty was Internet snuff films involving rape and torture of kidnapped victims. And she hated their guts.

She smiled, but it was hard and cold. "Nice to meet you two again as well. Still the adventurous duo, I see."

"Yer the last person we expected ta find here," Eile said.

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

"I'm surprised the cats haven't flayed you alive."

"You know better than I do, it's only the Waking World where they don't want people to know their secret. Here, they don't care. Besides, I am under the protection of the Queen's litter-brother, Lucifer. She cannot afford a feline civil war, so she leaves me alone as long as I don't interfere with feline concerns."

Sunny strode forward a couple of steps. "Just what's going on here, anyways?" Her voice was stern and disapproving, like she was scolding a miscreant child.

Sheraton smiled again, only this time she beamed with proud. "You like my little operation? The surrounding hills contain rich deposits of cobalt."

"Cobalt?!" Sunny exclaimed.

"Yes, in the form of skutterudite ore."

"Oh my goodness! That's cobalt arsenide!"

"Why am I not surprised?" Eile said in a sarcastic tone.

Sheraton frowned in confusion. "What are you two talking about?"

"Yer operation is contaminating the river with arsenic," Eile explained.

"So?" Her face was totally blasé, with no hint of emotion.

"It's killing the natives that depend on it for water!" Sunny elaborated.

Sheraton's expression didn't change. "So? What do I care?"

Eile wasn't surprised at her reaction, but Sunny exploded. "You monster!"

Sheraton scowled. "Spare me the histrionics! These deposits are clearly exposed. They're easy to mine and easy to extract; all I have to do is remove the arsenic. They yield large amounts of mostly pure cobalt, plus some nickel, a rich bonus. There's no way in Hell I'm going to allow concern for some primitive creatures, which aren't even human, to interfere with that. But why do you care?"

"They asked us to help them," Sunny explained.

"Asked you? My experience with them is that they kill first and forget to ask questions."

Eile shrugged her shoulders. "They were gonna, but once they found out we were Team Girl they changed their minds."

Sheraton scowled. "You two always did have the devil's own luck."

"But what good is cobalt here?" Sunny asked. Eile understood she meant the Dreamlands.

Sheraton barked out a laugh. "Are you kidding? It's a worth a fortune! It's highly prized for its blue and green colors in glass, ceramics, inks, and paints. It can be used to harden steel, making it corrosion-, heat-, and wear-resistant. It serves as a ground coating for enameling. It can be electroplated to form a hard, lustrous coating that resists oxidation. Some magicians even use it in their spells. I've already made a million tahlers off this operation just in the past six months, and I expect to triple that by the end of the year."

"And being as the hills are sacred and taboo, you can operate in complete safety, undiscovered," Eile said.

Sheraton smirked. "Exactly."

"There's more to this than just a dirty purse string," Sunny scolded.

Sheraton raised an eyebrow, not getting her reference, but then she waved it off. "Whatever. In any event, it's been fun chatting with you two, but I've got work to do."

"So, wha'cha plan to do with us?" Sunny sounded nervous. Eile had butterflies dive-bombing her stomach, but she'd be damned if she let Sheraton see her scared.

"She's probably gonna give us to her workers for their entertainment."

Sunny gave her a confused look. "What sort of entertainment?"

Eile sighed in frustration. "Whaddya think, ya dope?"

For a moment, Sunny looked puzzled, but then she figured put what Eile meant. "Oh!" she said, her eyes imitating her mouth. "Oh dear!"

"Don't tempt me," Sheraton said, giving them a fiendish leer, "I'd like nothing better. Though if it comes to that, I'd probably make a small fortune doping you up on black lotus and selling you as sex toys. Then again, the Leng Men have offered a substantial reward for your capture. Frankly, I'm rather curious about what they would do to you. I understand their tortures can be quite ingenious."

"Why do you hate us so much?" Sunny asked in all innocence. "What did we ever do to you?"

"What did you do to me?!" she shrieked, startling them both. "You ruined me, that's what you did! You destroyed my life! If I didn't like getting blood on my hands —" And she picked up a stiletto letter opener, holding it like a weapon, and left the rest of her threat unspoken but implied.

Eile's heart thudded against her sternum like it was trying to escape, but she was more mad than scared. "We didn't do a freakin' thing, lady! All we did was turn you in when you tried ta blackmail yer own family with that phony kidnapping. And you still manage ta pull it off later."

Sheraton savagely threw the dagger at the desk, and its point stuck in the wood. "A measly hundred million, when I used to be worth a hundred times that!"

Now it was Eile's turn to smirk. "That's not what we've heard. You've been doin' pretty good for yerself since then, and it hasn't exactly crimped yer social life either."

Sheraton came out from behind the table to confront them, folding her arms across her chest.

"The life I have now may not be a hard one, but it wasn't what I chose! You're lucky that killing you here wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as killing you in the Waking World, no matter how painful, and the only thing that keeps me from packing you off to Dylath-Leen is that whatever degradation you'd experience would only last as long as you're asleep; I would prefer it lasted for years!"

Eile had thought the pygmy creatures were hardcore, but at least they were not sadists. It made her realize that sometimes a primitive savage could be nobler than a so-called civilized woman.

Sunny was more direct. "Oh, please! Cut the sob story, sister. Everything that's happened is your own fault, and any 'suffering' you feel pales compared to what you did to those poor innocent people. Especially the children! Really, Sheraton, children? I mean, what kind of inhuman freak makes movies of children being raped and tortured?! It'd be bad enough if you were titillated by that, but you did it for money, nothing else! I don't understand how a woman could be so cold and cruel! Don't you have any warmth or feeling? Don't you feel any guilt at all?!"

Sheraton's face clouded in rage. "You filthy slut," she shrieked, "how dare you criticize me!" She raised her hand to strike Sunny across the face, but when she brought it down Eile caught it as Sunny shrank back.

"Touch her, and I'll break yer goddamned neck!" she growled.

Sheraton stared at her, still enrage, but Eile also saw fear in her eyes. She wrenched her hand out of her grip and stepped back. "Guards!" she hollered.

The three toughs who had dragged them there opened the flap, but only one strode in.

"Get them out of my sight!" she roared.

He grinned and signaled to the other two, who came in and gripped their arms.

"Take them out of camp, cut their throats, and leave them for the scavengers."

"Yes, Ma'am, right after we have a little fun first."

"No, now!"

"Don't worry, we won't take long." And the other two laughed.

She walked up to him and jabbed her finger in his chest. "I said now! I want them killed immediately! They're too dangerous, too resourceful, especially her!" And she pointed at Sunny, who blinked an innocent 'Who, me?' look at her.

The leader tough looked down at her with a displeased expression. "Look here, lady —"

Sheraton whipped out a kukri knife from behind her underneath her jacket. She pressed the blade to his neck. "You are not indispensible. Do as I say, or I'll have you replaced with someone more obedient. Understand?!"

His face was a mask of fright, as he sweated and gulped and gritted his teeth. He closed his eyes and said, "Yes, Ma'am."

She lowered the knife. "Then get to it!"

He nodded and turned towards his companions. "Get 'em out of here!"

They were dragged a few yards from the tent, when the leader stopped and signaled to two others to accompany them.

"Get yer hands off us, assholes!" Eile said, jerking her arm loose.

"Let 'em go," the leader said, "they can't run anyway." The four others surrounded them, taking out their swords, and formed an escort as the leader started off for the gate.

"I'm sorry Eile," Sunny said, sounding contrite.

"Eh, forget it. You only said what I thinking; I just didn't have the guts ta say it. Besides, we're not dead yet."

"Shut up!" the tough behind her ordered. She gave him a baleful stare, but made no reply.

Once through the gate the party didn't go far. Out of site around the bulge of a granite outcrop stood eight, man-high posts stuck upright in the ground.

"Tie 'em up," the leader said. Eile and Sunny were pushed towards the poles while two of the men took lengths of rope out from under their coats.

"Hey, what gives?" one of the other men said. "Aren't we gonna bang 'em first?"

"The bitch wants 'em dead now," the leader said, in a less than pleased voice.

"Damn! The first pieces of tail to come our way in months, too! What's her problem, anyway?"

"She says they're too dangerous."

"Them?! Shit, they're just girls, fer godsakes. What can they do?"

"Hell if I know, but her orders were clear."

"Screw her orders! We can at least strip 'em."

"What if we tied 'em to the posts backwards? Then we can do 'em and they can't stop us or get away."

The leader thought that idea over. "You know, that just might work. As long as they're helpless, it shouldn't matter, right boys?"

The tough nearest Eile said, "Yeah, there's nothing that says we can't have some fun with 'em." And he stroked Eile's ponytail.

Eile slapped the hand away. "Hands off, buster!"

The leader said, "Hey, you can fight all you want, it makes no difference to us, we'll just take what we want regardless, but if you give it to us willingly, you'll live a little longer. At least, you'll have a happy memory when we cut your throats." His men laughed with grim humor as he grinned in an evil fashion. "And if you're really good, we might even let you go, right boys?" The laughter increased in strength.

"Hey!" Sunny yelled. The laughter stopped as the men looked at her. "You want what we got?" she continued as she slipped off her jacket. "Then come and get it!" And she lifted her shirt above her breasts.

For several seconds, all male eyes were fixed on her ample bosom. That was all the time Eile needed. She smacked one executioner in the jaw with a right cross, and as he dropped she turned and slammed a fist into the belly of a second. As the other three glanced back at her, Sunny chopped a third in the throat with the edge of her hand and elbowed a fourth in the ribs before kicking him in the back of one knee and finally slugging him in the kidney.

The leader moved a moment after Eile, but before he took his third step, Liaison streaked out of the nearby forest, swinging his sickle. He hamstrung the tough, who collapsed with a scream, then cut off the sound by cutting his throat.

Sunny pulled her shirt back down, and as she snatched up her jacket, Eile grabbed two of the fallen swords. They then raced after Liaison as he sped for cover. He only went a short distance, however, to a large tree and scrambled up its trunk. Sunny followed, if less adroitly. She paused on a lower branch and Eile passed the swords up to her before she climbed after her. They continued climbing in relay until they reached Liaison half-way up.

"Will we be safe here?" Sunny asked as they settled beside him on a bough. He signaled her to keep quiet. Moments later, the other four executioners crashed through the brush in pursuit, but they ran straight past the tree and never hesitated.

After a few more moments, he looked at them and said, "Yes."

"Thanks for coming to our rescue!" Sunny gushed.

"You seemed to have everything well in hand; I just took care of the extra one."

"Even so, we appreciate it," Eile said.

Liaison shrugged. "You can't help my people if you are dead. Besides, taking a maiden against her will and without proper purification is punishable by death. The others will have to die as well."

Eile glanced at Sunny as they grinned. "We're not maidens," Sunny contradicted, but in a humorous tone.

Liaison gave then an unreadable look, but he said, "That really doesn't matter."

"By the way," Eile said to Sunny, "that was a great idea you had, flashing 'em like that. It saved our asses."

Sunny giggled. "Just remember that the next time you feel like calling me a bimbo."

Eile shook her head. "Nah, it'd never work, you'll always be a bimbo ta me." Sunny punched her in the arm and Eile shrank back, laughing.

"So, what do we do now?" Sunny asked, swinging her legs. "We can't stay up here forever."

"They will get tired of searching for you soon," Liaison said, "and then they will return to their camp."

"What happens when Sheraton finds out we've escaped?"

"I doubt they'll tell her that," Eile replied. "More likely they'll make up some cock-and-bull story ta cover their asses."

"But the scream."

"They'll say that was us. That should buy us some time."

"Do we run?" Sunny asked. She was looking at Eile so she didn't see Liaison behind her stare at her with a look of contempt.

"Where to?"

"If we got back to Ulthar, we could get Mayv and the cats and come back in force."

Eile watched Liaison as he gripped his sickle, ready to act as his people's avenger.

"Yah, we could, but we'd be breaking our word. We promised ta help these people. Who knows how many will die in the meantime."

"Oh, yeah, I didn't consider that."

"Besides, if we delay, Sheraton may pull up stakes and run once she finds we're still alive. For once, we've got the advantage. We should use that and strike back while she's not expectin' it."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

Eile saw Liaison relax and slip his sickle back into his belt.

"But we can't beat her alone."

"No, we can't," Eile agreed, and she made a show of looking past Sunny at Liaison. Sunny turned to look at him, too.

"Do you think yer people would help us?"

"The tribe will not come here, not on my say-so, and they would fear the taboo in any event."

"What if the Goddess of the Well ordered it? Could you get to her, and explain what we've found?"

Liaison looked surprised, but then he smiled. That was the first time she had seen him do that.

"You are wise for an Outsider. Yes, I think that would work. At least I can try."

"Then get going. If it works, when do ya think you'll return?"

"By dawn at the latest." And he leapt off the bough for one below. When he landed, he scrambled down the trunk like a squirrel, and disappeared into the brush.

"So what do we do?" Sunny asked.

Eile hefted one of the swords. "We wait until dark, and then we throw a monkey wrench into her operation."

Sunny smiled, crinkled her eyes, and giggled. "Sounds like a plan, partner!"

They waited until well after sunset, when the last of the workers had returned and the gates closed for the night. They made their way around the lip of the ravine, careful this time to avoid the patrols, to a position above the waterfall, where the Milk Stream ran out of the mountain behind them. They had to wait until after midnight for the camp to quiet down; the workers loved to play hard, but finally everyone retired except for a few guards strolling about the camp or keeping watch from the gate tower.

Using ropes they retrieved from their packs, they rappelled down the cliff and made their way around the reservoir to the back the building. Sunny put the single guard to sleep, and while Eile dragged him out of sight, she ensorcelled the door lock to force it open.

They ducked inside and closed the door. The building had no windows, so Sunny cast a light spell on their swords to see by. She then examined the setup for several minutes. "Ooookay, I see how this all works!"

"Never mind that; how do we put her outta business?"

Sunny stared at some bins of charcoal, with bottles of kerosene close by. "We burn this place to the ground." The creepy tone of her voice sent a chill down Eile's spine. He rarely saw her in this mood.

"What good will that do? Won't she just rebuild?"

Sunny gave her a level, predatory stare. "This is her whole operation. If we reduce it to ashes, it'll cost too much to start over. Her best bet'll be to cut her losses and skedaddle."

"Okay, gotcha."

"Help me dump the charcoal."

Together they overturned the bins and spread the lumps around, then retreated to the opposite end from the wheel. Eile opened a door and stood in the threshold as Sunny concentrated on the charcoal.

"Napalm!" she shouted, and the other end of the building exploded into flame. Eile ran and Sunny caught up with her moments later. After a few more steps they heard an explosion and felt the concussion. Stopping, they turned and saw what was left of the building was a conflagration.

Someone started banging on an alarm bell, and soon there were angry and frightened shouts as the men awoke and came out of their tents. Eile realized they were sitting ducks.

"Come on, let's get ta the gate and get it open!"

"Right with you, partner," Sunny replied, recovering her usual light nature.

They ran for the stockade along one wall, ducking behind tents as people ran past them. When they got close enough, Eile could hear someone shouting from above, "We're under attack!"

"Liaison!" Sunny shouted. "Good for him!"

Some of the guards at the foot of the tower heard her and rushed at them. Eile body-checked one and stabbed another as Sunny zapped two others with magical electrical bolts. A fifth man hesitated, then ran away, trying to get as far from them as he could.

Eile kicked the door to the tower office open. A man at a desk half rose, and she whacked him over the head, laying him out cold. Sunny followed her in and went for their weapons on a nearby table.

"Eile!" She tossed her the sword, then slung her quiver over one shoulder and strung her bow.

Eile caught the sword, and was turning around when Sunny yelled, "Look out!"

Eile ducked left as Sunny raised the bow and fired. She heard the arrow hit with a thud and when she looked, she saw a man with an ax collapse backward out of the doorway with the missile in his chest.

She waved her sword and cried, "Outside!" They ran out, confronting a half-dozen guards. Behind them, Eile saw Sheraton standing in front of her tent in a robe.

Sunny shot two in the legs as they charged. "Blast that gate open!" Eile yelled as she flung herself at the remaining four. They surrounded her and struck at her with blades and clubs as she spun, parried, slashed, and kicked, all the while screaming bloody murder. She saw Sheraton duck into her tent, and then spotted Sunny shoot at the closed gate.

"Battering-ram!" she shouted as she loosed the arrow; a glowing shape like a ram's head formed around it, and it slammed into the portal, splintering it into kindling. On the other side, a swarm of the pygmy creatures had assembled, with Liaison in the lead, and they flooded through the opening, crying a bloodthirsty ululation. Three of the men attacking Eile went down with darts in their bodies, convulsing as they went rigid like statues, and she hacked the arm of the fourth, sending him running.

As the creatures rushed past her, Sunny and Liaison came up to her. "They made good time!" Sunny gushed.

"The Goddess of the Well had already instructed the chief and head shaman to render you whatever aid you required," Liaison explained, "and gave them dispensation to enter the Hills."

"Wow! She must know what's going on, then."

"Yeah, maybe," Eile said. Then: "Stay with Liaison! I'm going after Sheraton!"

"Right!" Sunny replied, and fired at a moving target.

Eile sprinted across the ravine and burst into the tent. He found the celebutante stuffing ledgers and papers into a leather case.

"Sheraton!" Eile yelled. She whirled around and fixed eyes on her; her robe fell open, and Eile saw she was naked underneath.

A naked man charged through a hanging Eile thought was a tent wall. He bellowed and held a sword over his head. Eile turned and sidestepped, and slammed a fist underhanded into his stomach, letting his own momentum power the blow. He grunted from the force, doubled over, and pitched onto his face. Sheraton came at her, swinging the kukri. She parried, and they danced around each other as they savagely swiped with their blades.

"Give it up, Sheraton, there's nowhere left ta run!" Eile ordered. Sheraton sneered and pressed her attack.

"Okay, you asked for it!" She battered the kukri aside and kicked her in the stomach. She dropped the knife and fell back, and Eile slugged her in the face, spinning her around. She crashed into the table and her knees buckled, but she managed to stay upright.

Eile charged the celebutante, her sword raised, but the woman turned around and flung a cloud of dust into her face. It stung her eyes and burned the lining in her nose and mouth. She stopped and backpedaled, sneezing and coughing, as her eyes watered. She blinked, trying to focus, but even the weak lantern light blinded her.

She felt someone push her backwards against a pole. She couldn't resist, and her arms were spread and her wrists lashed to a crosspiece one at a time.

Moments later, her eyes and nose cleared enough to return to her senses. She fought against the bonds, but they were too strong. Meanwhile, Sheraton stood in front of her. She had recovered her kukri and regarded her with a thin, hard smile.

She stepped up to her and raised the thick-bladed, curved knife to her neck. "Any last words before I end this farce once and for all?"

Eile made ready to spit in her face, but she became distracted by movement behind her.

"Yeah," Sunny said, "I've got a few things to say."

Sheraton spun around. Sunny stood just past the tent flap, aiming an arrow at the celebutante. Liaison and another of the creatures flanked her. He held his sickle ready, and Eile saw it was dripping blood, while the other had a blowgun raised to its lips.

Sheraton held the knife poised over Eile's throat. "Stay where you are, or I'll kill her!"

"If you hurt her," Sunny replied, "I'll shoot, and at this distance it'll be like getting hit with a .44 magnum slug."

"Then we'll both be dead."

"Yeah, but all that'll mean is you lose your Dream-bodies. Eile and me can live with that; can you?"

Sheraton glanced at Eile, maybe hoping to see fear, but that's what Eile saw in her eyes. She realized suddenly that Sheraton needed to come here, maybe as a retreat, or as part of some long range plan. Whatever, she didn't want to Dream-die. Scowling, she stepped back and lowering the knife.

"Back off," Sunny ordered. Sheraton retreated towards the table, and Sunny came around in front of Eile, the creatures coming with her.

"Untie her, guys." They turned and ducked behind Eile, and began loosening the ties.

"Okay, Marseilles, you're free to go."

The celebutante gave her a suspicious, narrow-eyed stare. "Are you serious?"

"Very. Now, scat."

She took a couple of steps towards the flap, but then hesitated. "What kind of fool do you take me for? You'll just shoot me in the back."

Sunny shook her head. "No, that's what you'd do. I don't need to. The natives are very PO'ed at you for poisoning their sacred river. If they catch you, what they'll do would be a thousand times worse than anything you or I can think of. Shooting you would be a mercy. But I'll give you a choice. I can kill you now, or you can take your chances with them. What'll it be?"

Sheraton flashed her an enraged leer. "This isn't over," she snarled, and then she turned and ran out of the tent.

By that time, the creatures had released Eile and retrieved their weapons. Sunny waited a minute to make sure the celebutante wouldn't return, then lowered the bow.

"Alright, boys, she's all yours," she said, looking down at Liaison.

He grinned, and he and the other creature took off. Once outside, one of them raised a high-pitched ululation calling his brethren to the hunt. Eile figured it was Liaison.

Sunny sighed and relaxed the bow. "Close one." Then she looked at Eile. "You alright, partner?"

Eile nodded. "Yeah, thanks for saving my ass. But when did you get all hardcore?"

Sunny gave her a surprised look. "You didn't really think I'd kill her, did you?"

"Well, you had her convinced; me, too."

"I had to, otherwise she'd have called my bluff."

"Heh, maybe I shouldn't play poker with you anymore," Eile joked as she retrieved her sword.

Sunny giggled. "Yeah, I could beat the pants off you now!"

Considering they played strip-poker, Eile couldn't be sure that wasn't a double entendre.

"But let's save for that for later. The fire's getting closer, so we need to haul our butts outta here before they get singed."

"Heh, yeah, but first, help me collect her records."

Sunny gave her a confused look. "Buuuut, why?!"

"They'll have all her customers, and maybe her bank accounts where she's stashed her loot. If we give 'em ta Medb and the cats, they can track all that down and deal with it."

Sunny grinned and nodded. "Right you are, partner!"

As they finished filling the leather case, Eile noticed a small pack leaning against one leg of the table. Reaching down, she pulled back the flap and almost fainted dead away. It was filled with gold crowns.

"Might as well take this, too," she said as she hefted it onto her shoulder.

They left the tent; the fire had just reached the stockade, but they got through with no danger, and headed to where they left their packs.

"Do you think Liaison and his people will catch her?" Sunny asked.

Eile shrugged. "I dunno. But she is a survivor; she could get away."

"Well, I have a feeling we'll be seeing her again!"

Eile gave her an exasperated look. "Could you possibly get any more cliché than that, ya ditz?"

Sunny just smiled, crinkled her eyes, and giggled.